We women often complain that we feel invisible after a certain age. This doesn’t mean that men aren’t interested in us, but that society at large is ignoring us.
Unfortunately, ageism is a fact of life, and most of us begin to notice it as we come into midlife.
If you feel invisible, ask yourself whether this is something you always felt or whether it’s something that happened gradually as you grew older. Because feeling invisible has more to do with your self-confidence than with age.
I’m saying this from experience.
When I was young, I had a severe eating disorder that shattered my already shaky self-esteem.
No matter what anyone said, I never felt I was thin or pretty enough. I was convinced that I was a complete failure.
Years of therapy and inner work helped me overcome my disorder and feelings of doubt. And eventually, I even wrote books on female self-esteem and empowerment.
It wasn’t until I reached my forties that I realized my true worth.
At fifty, I finally learned to love myself inside and out. Also in my fifties, I felt better than ever, both personally and professionally.
I had my first “real” wrinkles and gray hair, not to mention menopause symptoms and a few aches and pains in my joints and muscles.
But honestly, my self-image is more solid than it ever was. Now, I truly know that not feeling invisible is a matter of self-worth. This is something I cultivate on a daily basis.
Of course, I don’t feel like a goddess every single day. I’m human, after all. But here are seven things that helped me on my journey to stay visible in midlife.
Also read: Natural makeup tips for midlife women
1. Don’t hide your age
Giselle Blondet, a Puerto Rican TV presenter and model, told me in an interview shortly after she turned fifty that when a woman says her age publicly, she immediately looks more beautiful.
I agree with her.
I dream of the day when all women can say their age openly, proudly, fearlessly. I‘m not afraid that someone will find out how old I really am. That feeling is truly liberating.
I will be turning 63 in August of 2026.
2. Unearth your charisma
Your mannerisms- the way you smile, laugh, talk, and interact- all comprise your style. This is who you are. It’s your personal trademark.
When you not only accept yourself but feel at ease with who you are, it makes you more charismatic.
A woman with charisma will never be invisible, no matter her age.
3. Establish your own personal style
Instead of following trends, reinforce your own style.
In my case, my long hair, silver jewelry, shawls, and funky glasses are all a part of my midlife style.
No matter how you dress and accessorize, the important thing is that it reflects who you are today.
If you feel comfortable with what you wear, you will always stand out.
4. Find your life purpose
When you have a clear life purpose, you are unstoppable. A woman who speaks with passion of her dreams and interests is impossible to overlook.
If you have not yet found your vocation, ask yourself what you would do if you didn’t need to make money. Then, make the time and find the resources to pursue those dreams.
5. Conquer a goal
When we were younger, anything seemed possible, and perhaps we didn’t give much thought to the goals we were achieving.
But doing something difficult when you’re over a certain age not only increases your self-esteem, it makes you more visible to others.
I ran my first half-marathon at 48, and I rocked my first Crow pose in yoga at 52. I got my yoga teacher certification at 55 and mastered freestanding handstands before turning 60.
All these accomplishments made me feel powerful. And I haven’t stopped. I am now chasing the goal of doing a half a dozen pull-ups at the gym. Hey, I can do three at 62, why not more?
6. Surround yourself with like-minded people
When you make new friends, look beyond their age. Don’t think you don’t fit in with a group or activity because of your age.
Connect with people regardless of their age. What matters is that they share the same energy and joie de vivre as you.
These like-minded souls will always have eyes and ears for you.
7. Open your heart
After fifty, we’ve all been through more than one challenge.
Always keep a sense of wonder.
This will make you attractive physically, mentally and emotionally, no matter how hard you’ve had it!
Me encanto , gracias por compartir
Un abrazo.
Actually I felt more invisible in my 20’s and 30’s and when I look at pictures from those days, yes I was more toned and had a fuller face but I feel I look better now. Maybe because I’m more confident and I have improved my fashion sense, back then I was too scared of being myself.
I agree, confidence is everything, and thank you for sharing!