If you are wondering whether it is possible to have orgasms – better orgasms, even – after 50, the answer, from my personal experience, is a resounding yes.
It is true that as women age, the intensity of our orgasms may start to decrease. This can be due to a number of factors, including hormonal changes, stress, and menopause. Luckily, it is possible to override this and get better orgasms after 50!
In this blog post, we’ll discuss how we can increase our chances for orgasm with some simple considerations.
At 50 plus I know myself so much better
By this I mean I know my body, my mind, and my spirit. I have a lifetime of experience in every realm, including sex.
By now I know what makes me tick and I have no issue telling my partner what I want or what I don’t want at any given time, in and out of the bedroom.
I have done the emotional work to liberate myself from sexual traumas from my youth, including the boyfriend who was exasperated because it took me so long to come.
Now I know I’m not weird, and that everybody and every body is different.
In my fifties I am not concerned with whether I have an orgasm or not
I feel many of us in midlife today grew up with the notion that orgasm was the ultimate point of having sex.
Now I realize there is so much more to it, including a deep emotional and spiritual connection. This means that I am now liberated from the obsession of having to orgasm and this not feeling forced to fake orgasms to please my partner’s ego.
I’m going to be quite honest here, and say that I sometimes feel like having sex with my husband but I am literally not in the mood to pursue an orgasm. The fact that I can tell my husband this feels freeing to me.
I can also tell my husband feels relieved that neither of us is forced to “make the other person come.”
This also means that when I do have an orgasm, which is more often than not, it is super intense and gratifying.
Foreplay starts way before one gets under the sheets
I learned in previous relationships that in order to feel lust, I need to admire and respect the person I am going to have sex with. This is the way I am, it could be different for you!
For me, foreplay can start when my husband gives me some good career news, or when I see him being a good father or stepfather.
This admiration is enough for me to start feeling in the mood to have sex with this amazing guy at any time of the day.
It may not culminate until nighttime because of our work and family duties, but it certainly doesn’t start when we get in bed.
The right partner can make a huge difference
I am in my third adult relationship. The first was in my twenties, the second was from my mid-thirties to mid-forties and the third (my second marriage) started at 46, 12 years ago.
Just last week I was telling my husband over coffee that the orgasm I’d had with him the night before was truly the most intense, longest, and more powerful orgasm I’d ever had. I’m 58 and he’s 57.
In all honesty, in my eyes, he really is the most skilled, empathetic, and also sexy guy I’ve ever been with. Maybe it’s not just that, but that we feel safe together, we’re compatible, and have been openly discussing our sex life for the last decade.
If someone had asked me in my 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s whether I thought sex got better with age, I don’t think I would have said yes. Now I KNOW it can!