What my midlife body really looks like and how I learned to love it

A couple of months ago I published a photo carrousel on my Instagram account which changed the way I see my midlife body.

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.
This is a candid photo by my hubs – pretty far away …

Well, midlife is actually a super positive term for a 56-year old. That´s me.

Am I thinking I will live to be 112? Hardly. But I do know that in 10 or 20 more years, if I´m still around, my photos will look quite different.

All the pics in that Instagram carrousel, and on this blog post, were taken with an Iphone.

My initial intent when taking them was simply to have a few yoga photos in a bikini. It was going to feel empowering.

Or so I thought.

The entire purpose changed when I took a good look at them later that day.

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.
Eagle pose in a bikini can be unforgiving at 56

Why I almost didn´t post these photos

I cringed when I first saw them.

I felt they looked like the awful tabloid photos that expose celebrities at the beach, just when they are enjoying being their imperfect selves.

When they are probably the realest they will ever get.

My first thought was … wow, look at that loose skin on my belly!

Read also: 6 Effective core workouts for midlife women

Sagging skin can be seen as beautiful if we reprogram our minds

Although of course I know I have sagging skin -I see it every day- I felt I´d be letting down others by showing that, despite my daily workouts, I´m still aging. 

Thankfully, after my initial shock, I came to my senses.

I thought, wait, these photos are actually great. I can´t just tell my daughters to love themselves.

I need to show them I love myself. My girls are wonderful at learning from good examples

You see, I need to do my best for my daughters to love themselves early on.

I had a horrible eating disorder when I was younger. It lasted 20 years. I did not love myself more when I had younger skin.

I also had severe body dysmorphia. I finally see myself pretty close to the way I look, I think.

And I like myself so much better now.

Read also: 9 Fitness influencers in their 50´s to follow on Instagram

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.
Sagging skin, an old tattoo and my estrogen patch peeking out of my bikini. Oops, and some underboob too.

I don´t plan to love myself less as I hopefully turn 60 and 70 and 80 and beyond.

Why do I say “hopefully”?

I´ve lost three dear friends to cancer, only this past year. Two of them were younger than me.

One of them, Belinda, was honestly my best friend. Oh, how she would have loved to grow old and come to the beach with me in a bikini.

My beautiful, kickass, full-of-life Belinda. How I miss you.

What happened when I posted the photos on Instagram

So, I posted the photos on Instagram, and braced myself for the comments.

I´m used to being told I´m too thin, called a “skinny bitch,” asked “have you lost weight?” and a bunch of other nonsense that I try to brush off.

I knew some people may feel I just don´t have the right to promote body love just because I´m not curvy or overweight.

Guess what though, I’ve been both at some point.

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.
I work out every day and I still have cellulite. Who doesn´t?

But, here´s the thing, I can only share me, because that´s all I got.

And I´m tired of actually paying attention to other people´s opinion of who I am and how I look.

The truth is that I finally feel good in the skin I´m in. 

Just when it´s starting to sag.

Just when my boobs decided to stop being perky.

Just when my legs show more and more varicose veins.

Just when my body is in the middle of this mess called menopause.

But guess, what, better late than never. 

My youngest, 15, reposted my IG photo carrousel with the best body-positive caption ever.

That alone was worth it. She was proud. And I was grateful.

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.
I had vein surgery on my right leg when I had thrombophlebitis after my second pregnancy. The varicose veins are on their way back.

Many women thanked me for posting those photos. They, like me, like all of us, are tired of seeing overly retouched photos of women of any age.

I stopped being scared of my peers realizing I didn´t look as good as they thought I did if we ever ended up at the pool or the beach together!

I also questioned why I even cared in the first place.

The main drivers behind my journey towards body-positivity

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.
Oh those varicose veins! But my belly looks flatter because I’m standing tall and and all that. It really is all about the pose and the light.

I know that pregnancy and childbirth can actually trigger body loathing in many women.

Maybe I´m a freak.

For me, pregnancy and childbirth made me feel real and true awe for what my body was capable of.

I mean, this sagging skin is partly the result of two pregnancies that produced the most inspiring human beings I know, my daughters Chloe and Alexia.

They both make me strive to be a better human being each and every day.

Practicing sports, dancing, and more recently, becoming a certified yoga instructor (RYT-500) have all played a significant role in self-love.

Not because any of those activities make me look better, but because they all positively impact the way I feel about myself.

There is nothing like pulling off an arm-balance or working towards mastering a free-standing handstand in my 50´s, to feel like a freaking goddess.

And it certainly doesn´t have to be a physical feat.

Simply realizing I´m a much more tempered and compassionate woman than I was in my 20´s or 30´s also helps me cope with the passage of time.

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.
Working on strength, mental, emotional and physical, helps me deal with the passage of time

Why I finally shared the photos and will probably take professional quality photos of this nature

I spend a lot of time online, because that´s how I make a living. I love admiring other women´s photos.

I love the wild carefree look of youth, but I´m also drawn to the allure of the confident older woman.

I believe we end up appreciating what we spend most time looking at. If we only admire flawless young skin, we will believe that´s the only true version of beauty.

If we get used to sharing and admiring photos of mature bodies, I feel we´ll all start to see the beauty in that too.

As the founder of a webpage for women over 50 I can tell you it´s really really hard to find stock photos of mature women, photoshopped or not.

There seems to be a jump from 20´s or 30´s to 70´s and beyond. But, where are the faces and bodies in the middle?

We say society needs to change. But we are society. If we want to be seen and heard, we need to show up at all ages, imperfections and all.

Life is too short. Wear the bikini. Take the risk. Love yourself. Stop the excessive photo filters. Now.

What are your thoughts?

Read also: 7 Actionable steps to love your midlife body

Most articles about loving your midlife body don´t actually show a mature or aging body, so here are some photos to help you realize you´re not alone.



Lorraine C. Ladish

Bilingual and bicultural Spanish-American editor, writer, speaker, influencer, yoga teacher (RYT500) wife and mom. Founder of Viva Fifty! Published author of 18 books. Her most recent book Your Best Age was released by HarperCollins in September of 2017.

12 Comments

  • Reply July 16, 2023

    Susan

    You are beautiful! I will turn 70 in November and I have no problem with that. I workout almost every day and follow a healthy diet. My husband tells me I’m beautiful and “hot” every day! I am extremely blessed!

    • Viva Fifty!
      Reply July 16, 2023

      Viva Fifty

      Thank you! I am turning 60 next month and need to take new pics!

  • Reply June 30, 2023

    JEAN BIRCH

    Thank you x You are beautiful and yes, I noticed the bit of sagging skin on your belly ( I have rather a lot of that too) but I didnt notice any of the other bits until you pointed them out. I am 63, busy losing weight and building muscle. I was sort of hoping that the muscle would fill out my saggy bits (and I would be magically young again) but its not going to is it. I realise that now. So I think I better go and buy myself a bikini now hadnt I.

    • Viva Fifty!
      Reply July 5, 2023

      Viva Fifty

      Well, that was a few years ago! I am now turning 60 in August and I still wear a bikini and I have more sag although I continue to work out! 😀

  • Reply June 28, 2023

    Carl Detroit

    I’m a 72 yr “old” male, who’s been weight training for 40 years. Not non stop, as life and about 9 surgeries have caused me to start all over again. You’re a brave, fit, SMART woman who appears to subscribe to my motto.. Never give up, never surrender! No matter how we look on the outside, our inner selves will continue forward. You go !!!!

    • Viva Fifty!
      Reply July 5, 2023

      Viva Fifty

      I am turning 60 in August! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!

  • Reply January 18, 2020

    Sharon

    You look great I’m 58 & wish I looked like you in a bikini, thank God for sarongs. When I look in the mirror at my body now I cringe, I also go to the gym prefer classes I’m still waiting for a body transformation ha ha.

    • Viva Fifty!
      Reply January 18, 2020

      Viva Fifty

      Sharon, I feel we should all be so much more compassionate with ourselves. I also think the more we share older bodies online, the more we will learn to appreciate them. Both ours and those of other women. Thank you for taking the time to comment! – Lorraine

  • Reply December 28, 2019

    Luann Carnahan

    Thank you! You are beautiful inside and out! You are fearless, strong and inspiring! I love that you love yourself…..all the parts that make you…you!

    • Viva Fifty!
      Reply December 29, 2019

      Viva Fifty

      Oh, I don’t know about fearless. It´s taken me a lifetime to get here, but better late than never. Thank you!

  • Reply December 19, 2019

    Robin Ellison

    Hi Lorraine, I wish I looked half as good as you do. I am also 56. You scared me saying that you are only half way through menopause. I have had a bad time with menopause. It’s been kicking me in the butt! I sure hope we are farther along than half way. Robin

    • Viva Fifty!
      Reply December 20, 2019

      Viva Fifty

      Thank you Robin! I think it is different for every woman. I still have symptoms but I have to say I am feeling SO much better at 56 than I was at 51!!!!! All the hugs!

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